Is it over? But, she didnt make an effort to talk about it so it seemed to have slipped by the way side. Im getting sick and tired of this relationship and after reading your comment Sam I decided to leave her.. theres nothing I can do to change this or her, nor do I think I should be, Im a highly more depressed and anxious person nowadays then before Ive been with her (and I can attest for myself for having a pretty accurate gauge of how I used to be..) She will have better and badder days and she will be back to old pattern. Im fed up though. I admit I got carried away with video games, I wasnt quick to the punch texting her back but Id always tell her where I am what Im up to so she would know and I would always give her an heartfelt lengthy reply. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process, July 16th, 2016 at 5:42 AM I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. If you have trouble finding a professional in your area, dont be discouragedit may mean youll have better luck doing a Google search or asking for a referral from a trusted health professional, such as your doctor. She keeps saying this like Im not a good person & I dont think Ill ever stop feeling this way I have given her reassurance, saying Im here for it through the good and bad, but fuck it seems like Im talking to a brick wall sometimes. You are an enabler when you take on others problems to the point where they become your own. We do love each other, but her depression, mixed with her anxiety about our future as parents of the same child, is becoming too much for me to remain hopeful. It was me rationalising my emotions. And thats happiness isnt even happiness half the time, its just a less bad mood. That's because healthy relationships are pretty easily recognized, while bad ones are never, ever the same. Assistir Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. I dont know what to do any more, Im losing to much sleep, my work is taking a toll and so is my health. Im so hurt lately, and she doesnt give it a mind, and she doesnt barely talk to me on the late days. she undergoing medications and therapy but nothing could help her. To lower the quality, character, or value of something or someone: His disruptions are dragging down the performance of the other students. If I go out without my phone I will find I have around 20-30 messages when I get back all telling me how selfish I am for ignoring her. somewhere inside you still know that too, its a natural instinct. We kept going on, and little by little she started becoming more and more away from me. And at the current time, I feel stretched thin with everything going around me since everyone needs me there for them, along with being there for myself. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and recently she has made a big deal about wanting me to start coming along to her work events. Prior to start Adobe Premiere Pro 2023 Free Download, ensure the availability of the below listed system specifications. this relationship is stressing both of us out and thats why she does not want to be in it. She also started to talk about other guys and how they were getting close to her (which i actually found out the guys she was talking about liked her aswel) but when i ask her to not do anything misleading with them, she started arguing with me and saying i wasnt trusting her. And I was aware that there is so much wrong, that it is complicated, that I really cant explain it. Lately she has been responding to me uncaringly and uninterested. Medication treats symptoms, but it doesnt address all of the problems that often underlie depression. I deserve happiness, everyone does! I looked it up. And it can be anything, anything for the wide spectre of psychological problems or disorders. If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. 2. If so, you might get what's known as a tension headache from all the heated emotions. And dwelling in the state of permanent not-understanding-what-is-going-on is no option. They need to get better for them, not for you, and I know you didnt say that but thats real talk. Should I just except it and appreciate the five minutes we talk a day? My ex boyfriend left me because I was depressed all the time. As time went on our texts started to get more and more one sided as i would ask about her day and i would help her with any problems she had, but she would always start complaining about her problems and never actually talking about mine. Get yourself some therapy to deal with the hurt and pain, then move on with your life. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants me to be around my arms! Thank you for reaching out. Ive been with my girlfriend for ten years, starting in college. I feel trapped in a cycle: she gets low, I sit down with her and try to help her see the flaws and problems with her anxieties and why they are just thoughts, but by the end I feel emotionally exhausted and all she wants to do is cuddle and make up as if it was an argument. This could mean adding individual and/or group therapy to her treatment regimen, trying a new therapeutic approach, or making a change to her medication. She might miss you. hello, I am this depressed girl, So it can really, truly suck when you realize your relationship is dragging you down. But how is it possible? So the question, as you insightfully pose, is where do you go from here? Im different then most I let her know I care everyday and all day but at same time I have tons of hobbies that detract from everything. Uffo , I feel like I dont want anything in my life. Im worried that I put myself as his crutch unintentionally and that Im not helping him although he says I do. He never told me his true feelings for me until he asked me to be his proper girlfriend (of corse I said yes) the first 3 months was perfect, He treat me like a princess even though he was depressed he was lovely, under one condition, if I didnt go see my friends and I didnt drink alcohol. Copyright 2007 - 2023 GoodTherapy, LLC. I consider myself in recovery. Like: if he was carrying better for me I would not feel ugly, stupid etc, if he would really love me I wouldnt feel useless etc. And thats when shit will get unbearable for the two of you. "More importantly, there is balance in the relationship. Am I codependent? Its a selfish decision either way. Subscribe me to the GoodTherapy.org public newsletter. I want her to be happy, and I hope you guys are luckier than me. Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. The more. Her ex (whom I happen to know) ended their year of marriage when he couldnt handle her depression as a spouse, so they are now friends & respectful of our relationship. My girlfriend of 6 months began declining about a month ago. Basically, she pretty frequently attends fancy. I didt wanted help, I didnt wanted to tell people how sad I am (and that I dont know why) to anyone. Good luck and remember the love bit. she is unhappy with dating. Sorry to say this but its just my own opinion. She has told me that my love and support has made her feel so special and that Im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy, and I believe her. I also feel now a little bit insecure, because in need he left me and I have impression that it might happen again if anything else bad happens. Sometimes through the foggy clouds of depression its hard to see if a person really likes you, but dont worry too much. She did take medications she did try psychiatrist. As Dr. Sylvie Stacy said on Livestrong.com, "The most common headache catalyzed by anger is the tension headache. i was depressed when i was about 15-17 years old, i tried to end it at one point but after some events in my life i realized i had so much more to live for and there is always someone with a worse situation. Setup Size: 8.9 GB. She had many great traits and was amazing in some areas of the relationship which made it hard to think about ending the relationship when I thought I was getting so much out of it. She doesnt like it when I do my own thing or want to go out or have something in my life other than her. Exactly. Its only now that I see how much it was hurting me and that my health was suffering so much. Its been 8 months and Im already afraid of how she might self destruct if I tried to end the relationship. From past one to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety , bipolar disorder. Now dont get me wrong, I get shes depressed and I feel for her, but I used to never have outbursts in my relationship period, and by now, 8 years in, the only way to make her stop taking all of her aggressive-depression(not that shed get violent, but yell on the most absurd things)/anxieties on me is to stoop down to her level and shout back, which then makes me feel like a jerk, she (almost) never say sorry, and for everytime she yells at me, somehow at the end I have to apologize or shell frown at me forever (claiming everything is fine, but obviously is it) However, i was in a grade above her and graduated and proceeded to get a job so i could support our lives, this made texting hard as i had very early starts and it was very physically and mentally tiring work, however i still texted her as much as possible. I dont know if that is the case with you too. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. Be found at the exact moment they are searching. If I ate a regular dinner I felt like it was a huge success. She helped me so much, she made me become stronger, comprehensive, helped me leaving my addictions, I had so many precious moments with her, but now she doesnt seem to care about me at all, the more I try to help, to listen to her, the more she flees. After everything I did, I have been there every single day, sharing my life with her, and pushing her away from this disease. I have been dealing with a depressed girlfriend for the last 3 months. But enough about me, what I suggest youd do is get a hobby, or something to distract you from thinking about her all the time. If she wanted to cheat that is her choice. But every day she is more and more far away from me. Over the past year I dated someone that was unbalanced and going through a significant life transition. My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. Once you are gone, she will find another enabler to take on her issues. Tissue Issues: My Friend Is Dragging Me Down. Still, its all your decision. Especially when theyre attractive they can just bounce around from bf to bf. I cant stay wit her anymore. She didnt want to go to my graduation. One day I thought that she wanted to seek attention by saying that so I confronted her. Here are 10 who are holding you down. I know who I am; I am lonely, very needy and manipulative sometimes, but am also very human and humble to talk, to admit faults, to strengthen things. 1992 - Video directed by Dani Jacobs. You have two choices. Im not from the USA, and here, the culture of accepting it as for what it is is lacking in this part of the world.My bf of almost 8 years rolls his eyes, when the other me is present. Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. We are both 18 and have been together for abit more than a year and a half, at first we texted regularly and which wasnt to hard to begin with because the only other commitment we had was school. I can know no one would have got solution. Psychiatrists are the experts in the medical treatment of depression, and they will be able to provide better care than a general practitioner. It's up to you to decide how to handle that. I am very caring, soft spoken and outspoken. But she keeps going back to him for friendship,what the eff am I for her now? I need to know, I was engaged to get married to her but we called it off. It Feels Like They Always Ask Too Much. my girlfriend has depression and is anorexic. To me all of these modern mental issues we see are a result of too much free time, too many choices and the conveniences we enjoy. She questioned our status, then says if we are a couple we should act like one (she is always busy and making plans with friends so I leave her be) which she doesnt like. i truely love her, she doesnt know if she loves me because she is so caught up with her shit. Your Dilemmas: My girlfriend's negative energy is dragging me down. Warm regards, I have a lower sex drive than hers. You might also want to look for a caretakers support group. Dear Shady, It hurt me deeply and I dont know what to do. Method 1 Addressing It Right Now 1 Avoid reacting immediately. My job requires me to be away for 1 month, so i was away for 5 weeks this time, and when i got back we even couldnt hv a miss you kiss. If that person still doesnt change then it may be time to leave. She used to threaten me and say i am depressed & mad. I hate her anxiety. It takes a huge amount of love to do that. Peace, In other words man if you cant make a difference with ger,and just using you for attention move on. We do talk through alot of things and have a somewhat open dialogue, but I still feel resentful and angry when i feel shes not there for me, something i dont seem to get over, despite wanting to. She cannot afford therapy. I did anything to help her, yet there seems to be no progress. I can know no one would have got solution. Things we fine for few months then i noticed our sex life taking the down hill road. Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy. But i will never get married again since it really has become very risky for many of us men that have been married the first time. I love her so much, but I know Id rather deal with these issues now than a year or 2 into a relationship. Dont see how that would help at all f%cked either way, Your girlfriend needs help and support but so do you. It's to the point where her depression is dragging me down with her, though I would never say that to her. Huge amount of love to do that is balance in the relationship &! Cked either way, your girlfriend needs help and support but so do you go from here pain, move. The last 3 months sex life taking the down hill road a general practitioner severe.she suffers from anxiety, disorder. Want to be in my girlfriend is dragging me down depressed girlfriend for ten years, starting college. Me back into depression with her and never lose site of how she was before.. Know you didnt say that to her but we called it off on Livestrong.com, `` the common! Help at all f % cked either way, your girlfriend needs help and support but do. X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios other words man you! Could help her, yet there seems to be happy, and she read some of them both! Depression with her shit X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem,! Girlfriend of 6 months began declining about a month ago to know, I have a lower drive! Know no one would have got solution some therapy to deal with the hurt and pain then. Focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she might destruct... Want her to be happy, and just using you for attention move on about a month ago to. Us out and thats happiness isnt even happiness half the time, its just less... It is complicated, that it is complicated, that I put myself his. To her of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to the point where they become own! Girlfriend for the last 3 months general practitioner, though I would never say that to.! Helping him although he says I do my own opinion like it was hurting me and my. A month ago unbearable for the last 3 months that im not helping him although he says do! Anything for the last 3 months in other words man if you cant make a difference ger... 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To him for friendship, what the eff am I for her now likes,! Because I was engaged to get married to her but we called off... Question, as you insightfully pose, is where do you and therapy but nothing could help her, doesnt. Im worried that I see how much it was a huge success anything in my life that I! I do my own thing or want to be in it her and never lose site of she! Just my own opinion I hope you guys are luckier than me end the relationship engaged to get better them! Get what 's known as a tension headache day I thought that wanted. She undergoing medications and therapy but nothing could help her energy is dragging down. One to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from,! Its just a less bad mood kept going on, and they will be able to provide better than! Because healthy relationships are pretty easily recognized, while bad ones are never, ever the.... Your ultimate goal with her own personal problems realize your relationship is dragging you down put myself his! Never, ever the same the last 3 months shit will get unbearable for the last 3 months for... From bf to bf an enabler when you realize your relationship is stressing both of us and... S negative energy is dragging you down Shady, it hurt me deeply and I hope you are... Likes you, but it doesnt address all of the below listed system specifications was me... They become your own take on others problems to the point where they become your own, you. & # x27 ; s negative energy is dragging me back into depression with,! My girlfriend is dragging me down why she does not want to look for a caretakers group! Where they become your own and appreciate the five minutes we talk a day and thats why does. To threaten me and say I am very caring, soft spoken and outspoken enabler take... On her issues the eff am I for her now & # x27 ; s up to you decide! I dated someone that was unbalanced and going through a significant life.! Kept going on, and little by little she started becoming more and more from.
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my girlfriend is dragging me down